Friday, January 1st, 2016
So for the last two days I have been in pain. I am in pain. My left leg (that would be my good leg, or is supposed to be) has developed a shooting, electric shock type of sensation in my hip joint which appears suddenly when I try to move my leg into certain positions. Such positions as those required for walking (forward, sideways is fine), sitting down, standing up, getting into or out of bed – just the essential ones really. It is, almost quite literally, a pain in the ass. The pain is so severe and intense that it keeps making me gasp out loud; a sound that would probably be quite welcome to my husband during a night of passion, but in fact indicates that any sort of movement is almost impossible without an unattractive, pinched wincing expression smeared onto my face. Hardly a passion-inducing kind of a look.
I fear it may be because I have not rested enough. I realise the irony of this statement being uttered towards the end of a two week school holiday, but the simple truth is that we have jam-packed something into every one of our days together. All of these have been enjoyable activities that I would not choose to have missed, but such a non-stop schedule has been somewhat of a shock to my system, which is used to a twice weekly reboot during the course of a normal week. I would usually rest, including taking a nap, on both a Monday afternoon and some time during my full day of on Wednesdays, a new feature of my week since November, but now one that is fully established and, it seems, entirely necessary.
My real fear, though, is that this constant overload of enjoyment and activities may have triggered a relapse. The hip pain is not an isolated symptom – I also have experienced the return, albeit mildly, of my very first MS symptom, which showed up long before I was diagnosed, and went away without leaving any trace of its cause. The vision in my right eye is giving the illusion of a glasses lens slightly smeared with Vaseline – not enough to impair my sight, but enough to be annoying. I now know this to be a form of optic neuritis, and the fact that this is accompanying the painful hip electrical surges leads me towards thinking that another relapse is underway.